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Growing a career is no small feat. And doing it as a parent? That’s a whole new level of challenging. But carving out a successful career while being a single mom? Now that’s a Herculean task.
Wait - who are we kidding?
Even Hercules wouldn’t have been able to handle that. You’re not just battling systemic issues like gender bias, unequal pay, and glass ceilings. As a single mom, you’re also the chief breadwinner, the go-to caretaker, the one-and-only financial planner, the family disciplinarian, the constant nurturer, and the everyday homemaker.
According to the latest data, over 11 million homes in the United States are led by a single parent – and a staggering 80% of these are helmed by mothers.
While it may feel like the odds are against you, I want you to know that you are not confined to a life of sacrifice or unfulfilled dreams. This isn’t a zero-sum game where advancing in your career means neglecting your family or vice versa. You can absolutely have what’s most meaningful to you – it’s all about figuring out your non-negotiables and making deliberate choices accordingly.
Life is a series of trade-offs. You’re not at a dead-end. You’re in a world full of limitless possibilities.
I became a single mom of three in 2003, with kids aged 6, 4, and 15 months.
Over the next 16 years, I went from being an elementary school teacher to a VP of Marketing at several high-growth tech startups. With their father living almost 300 miles away and mostly absent, the weight of family responsibilities fell squarely on my shoulders. Today, my children have grown into wholesome, loving, responsible adults - but my experience has been full of ups and downs.
Yes, I made lots of mistakes. I also learned invaluable lessons on how to harmonize career growth and family life. I realized that life isn’t a quest for perfection. It’s not even about balance. It’s a symphony. Different parts of your life can exist in ways that are complementary, even if they don’t receive equal attention.
Ultimately, it’s about creating a rich mosaic of experiences for yourself and your children, full of love, connection, resilience, and never-ending growth.
I’m sharing these 15 hard-earned strategies because I want every single mom out there to know that flourishing professionally or personally while nurturing strong, resilient kids is not a pipe dream - it’s an attainable goal. I hope my journey and the insights I’ve gathered serve not only as inspiration, but as a practical guide to help you create your own rich symphony of experiences.
And may it be the most wondrous music to your ears.
Don’t Make Yourself Wrong
Acceptance is the cornerstone of growth and resilience. Everything else is born of this context. It’s important for you to know that it’s okay for you to be where you are right now - in your feelings, thoughts, and circumstances. It is what it is.
Accept where you are, as you are
First things first, cut yourself some slack. You’re a single mom, a modern-day superhero juggling a hundred different balls at once, so if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, scared, or downright frazzled, that’s okay. The key here is to embrace whatever you’re feeling, not push it away. Don’t resist it, make it wrong, ignore it, or bury it.
Imagine you’re observing a wave come and go.
The same goes for life’s curveballs, whether it’s work stress or a challenging day at home - your kids throwing tantrums, calls from teachers about misbehavior, missed homeworks, project deadlines at work, late evening Slack messages from coworkers, the conversation you didn’t have, the KPI you didn’t hit, a sink full of dishes, a bill that’s overdue - whatever it is, accept it, see it, embrace it.
You have to acknowledge what’s happening before you can deal with it or change it. So, take a deep breath and accept the “here and now.”
Give yourself the space to reflect
Once you accept things - feelings, thoughts, occurrences - give them space to be, and sit with them for a bit. Hit pause. Once you’re no longer emotionally charged, or fixated on a thought, or stuck in a situation, reflect on what’s going on or what happened.
Think about it like you’re watching a movie.
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about understanding. Be curious. Ask yourself questions like, “I wonder what it was that made me feel angry? I wonder what got in the way of me having that conversation? What do I want to do when my boss Slacks me at 7pm in the evening? I wonder what I could do to help my son submit his homework on time?”
The goal is to come out of this reflection with a clearer picture of what really happened, what you want, and what you can do differently next time.
Iterate
Life’s really like a giant sandbox, so embrace the freedom to explore and experiment. Once you’ve had those moments of reflection, you can now test new approaches based on your insights. Maybe a to-do list stuck on the fridge will help your son remember his homework. Or maybe setting boundaries on work communication after hours is necessary for your well-being.
The point is to try something new and see how it works. If it doesn't, that's another lesson learned and another opportunity to tweak and iterate.
The goal isn’t perfection - it’s growth. Every small adjustment is a step closer to crafting your own rich symphony of experiences.
Be Present
The temptation to let your thoughts wander to your kids while at work, or to go through your mental to-do list when you’re with them, is all too real. This is especially true if you’re managing everything on your own. You may even catch yourself dreaming about the “what-ifs” or the “remember when’s” - whether that’s life before kids or life with a future partner.
While these thoughts might seem harmless, they can subtly introduce resentment and make you feel disempowered. Not only do they distract you from the present moment, but they also shift the key to your happiness to something or someone outside of yourself.
And think about it - what value are you really adding in either world when your attention is divided? When you’re at work mulling over your child’s latest behavioral challenge, not only are you not solving that problem, but you’re also compromising your own professional performance. The same goes for when you’re physically with your kids, but mentally at (or with) work or even daydreaming.
The point is to be wholly where you are. To sink into each moment as if you’re in the sandbox - it’s your chance to shape, explore, and derive the most from the immediate experience. Each moment is an opportunity to bring the full spectrum of who you are to what you are doing.
All we have is this moment.
And this moment.
And now this one.
As much as you can, stay in the moment.
If your mind wanders, try to anchor yourself back to the now. You can use your senses as a tether - what can you see, hear, smell, touch, or even taste?
When I embraced being fully present – whether as Nada, the tech VP during my work hours, or as Nada, the devoted mom at home – the quality of my interactions in both areas improved. I was more effective at work and more connected at home.
Learning to be present, without the burden of wishes for a different life, can empower you to take control of your life as it is RIGHT NOW. It really can make a huge difference.
Become Your Own Best Friend
I’ll never forget that moment of realization. The kids were asleep, and there I was sitting alone in my bed. A warm cup of tea was warming my hands, a cozy cardigan snuggly wrapped around me, and I was settling in for some downtime with my favorite sitcom. As I took that first sip, something clicked. I felt this overwhelming sense of being present, my senses heightened, and the world around me had suddenly transitioned from black and white to rich, vibrant, radiant color.
I was completely at ease.
Alone, but far from lonely.
I realized that when you genuinely accept, appreciate, and have compassion for yourself, you become your own best friend. You not only enjoy your own company, but also thrive in it. This isn’t about isolating yourself or forgoing other relationships - it’s about establishing a foundational friendship with yourself that empowers you in all other areas of life - be it as a mom, a professional, or simply as a human being.
When you’re friend #1 in your own life, you radiate a type of resilience and strength that’s uniquely yours, an inner fortitude that supports you in unimaginable ways. Embracing this mindset not only uplifts you personally and gives you an impenetrable serenity, but it also enhances your ability to nurture, work, and connect in more meaningful ways.
Be Clear on Your Priorities and What Matters To You
Forget about chasing the elusive ‘work-life balance.’ In my experience, the term itself is like a mirage - constantly shifting and never quite attainable. It often feels like we’re set up to fall short in one area while overcompensating in another. We’re creating a symphony, remember? And a symphony is a harmonious blend of different melodies - your career, your family, your personal growth - that together create a beautiful composition.
You're creating harmony between what you want in your home life, and what you aspire to in your personal and professional life. And in harmony, unlike in balance, not all notes have to be played equally loud or long – they just have to coexist in a way that’s pleasing to the ear, or in this case, fulfilling to your soul.
So the question you have to ask yourself before you create this symphony is, “What matters to me?”
List your priorities, rank them, and then use this framework to navigate your life.
This will help you distinguish the non-negotiables from the “nice-to-haves,” enabling you to make more deliberate choices. Knowing where you won’t compromise allows you to let go of the small stuff while focusing on what genuinely enriches your life. Again, life is about trade-offs, and knowing your top priorities helps you make smarter ones.
I’ve navigated through various roles and stages of my career, adjusting my priorities along the way. They’ve evolved as my kids have grown older and our circumstances have changed. When my kids were young, my non-negotiables included dropping them off and picking them up from school. Knowing this allowed me to negotiate my work schedule. I had a deal with my boss to leave at a specific time, and in return, I’d come in earlier.
As the kids grew older and became more independent, my priority shifted to having dinner with them every day. I’d leave my house around 6 AM, catch a commuter train and subway to be at work by 7:30 AM. This way, I could head out by 4:55 PM sharp, ensuring that I was back home by 6:25 PM for our shared mealtime. I was willing to put in the effort for what mattered most to me at the moment.
This approach has not just been about survival - it’s been about crafting a life that, like a well-composed symphony, is both fulfilling and uniquely my own.
Build Routines and Create Traditions
Experiencing a demanding career with single motherhood leaves little room for wasted energy. That’s where routines come in - they’re lifesavers. They not only conserve your mental and emotional reserves, but also cut down on the confusion for your kids.
By automating daily activities like morning prep, mealtimes, homework, and bedtime, you minimize decision fatigue and save energy for unexpected challenges like a child needing extra emotional support for having a bad day or another one needing help on an upcoming exam.
These routines served as a stabilizing force and an emotional anchor for my kids. I’m grateful that I grasped this concept early on, making routines like their bedtime not just automatic, but also enjoyable. The evening would start with us putting on pajamas, then taking turns brushing teeth. Each night, one kid would choose a book, which I’d read aloud as they gathered around me on the bed. Afterwards, they’d each take a book back to bed and have 10 minutes of independent reading before lights out. No matter how drained I felt, I remained consistent, reading with enthusiasm and tucking them in with a goodnight kiss.
Kids might not always appreciate the structure you give them, but deep down it serves as their emotional security blanket. Knowing what to expect creates a comforting predictability that makes them feel safe.
Don’t underestimate the power of family traditions either. Whether it’s Pancake Sundays or Grocery Shopping Saturdays, these rituals are more than just activities; they become shared experiences that anchor your family life and bring you together. They offer something everyone can look forward to, strengthening your bonds over time.
For years - and even into their early teens - my kids and I cherished our Pizza Picnic Fridays. After school, we’d go straight to Hollywood Video – nostalgic, right? Each kid would choose a movie and a candy. We’d then grab a pizza, head home, lay a plastic tablecloth on the living room floor, and get ready to unwind. The designated movie selector for the week would pop their choice into the VCR or DVD player, and we’d all sit down to our pizza picnic and movie night. As times changed, we transitioned from Hollywood Video to pre-selecting DVDs from Netflix and eventually to simply streaming our movie choices. It was so much fun.
And sure, traditions might evolve and fade as individual activities and responsibilities mount when kids get older. Basketball practice, swimming lessons, or Yearbook club might become priorities, causing rituals to subside or change. Your teenagers might even call them “lame,” but trust me - these are memories they’ll hold dear and may even carry into their own families one day. In fact, believe it or not, my grown-up kids still ask for a good ole Pizza Picnic Friday every now and then. So yeah, these traditions stick.
Create Downtime
Downtime is not a luxury - it’s a necessity.
If you don’t do it, you will crash and burn. You can’t be "on" all the time, even if you wanted to. You need downtime - a period of time when you are unwinding, relaxing, and charging your batteries.
You’ll know that you’re close to the edge when you start behaving in ways that just aren’t you - like snapping at a child for asking a simple question, or getting teary eyed in a work meeting over an inconsequential comment.
So just like you create routines and rituals for you and your kids to create stability and emotional anchors, you need to do the same for yourself to allow yourself to recharge and renew. This is your downtime, and even just 10 minutes can be a game-changer. It not only rejuvenates you but also sets an example of emotional intelligence for your children and colleagues. Be clear about what you need and why - it’s more than okay to articulate your limits.
I had four daily “sanity breaks,” if you will. The first was my morning commute - my book heaven. I’d oscillate between reading fiction and non-fiction, depending on my mood. The second was my commute home - that was my time to get lost in music and reflect on the day. Once home, after hugging each of my chickadees, I’d go to my room for about 5 to 10 minutes to change and freshen up before heading back out to give my kids my undivided attention while we cooked dinner together. When they were tiny, they’d sometimes follow me into my room, but they knew the drill - mom needs a quiet moment. My last sanity break was after bedtime. For years it was a cup of tea and some mindless TV. Ironically as they got older, I’d hit the sack before them (funny how that happens) but the essence remained the same - some solo time to decompress.
The bottom line? Identify what recharges you, articulate it to those around you, and weave it into your routine. You’re juggling a lot - those pockets of 5 to 10 minutes of downtime can restore the mental, emotional, and physical energy you need to navigate the demands of single motherhood.
Create Uptime
We’ve covered downtime, so let’s chat about its equally important counterpart: uptime. Unlike downtime, which is all about winding down and recharging, uptime is your chance to amp up your energy. This is your space for activities that genuinely fire you up and fill your cup. Just like downtime, it’s important to weave uptime into your routines - whether daily, weekly, or monthly.
Skipping uptime doesn’t exactly make you crash and burn - it makes you slowly fade away.
You’ll start to feel resentment creeping in, your spark vanishes, and before you know it, you’re miserable - in life, with your kids, and at work.
So what pumps you up? What energizes you? Socializing with friends? Figure out how to make it happen. Maybe host a girls’ night at your place once the kids are asleep or schedule a monthly night out. Are you into painting? Singing? Dancing? Yoga? Going to Museums? Whatever it is, jot down your passions and figure out how to integrate them into your life.
For me, running was (and still is) my uptime. I love it so much, I’ve written a few articles about it and even compared distance running to effective leadership. When my kids were little, I’d go for runs during the wee hours of the morning. My landlord at the time, an early riser herself, would kindly keep an eye on my kids while I was out. When we moved and the kids were older, my ritual stayed the same, except the alarm rang even earlier - 4:30 or 5 AM runs before work became my norm. I thrived on the serenity of the waking world and it geared me up for the day ahead.
As time went on, I added races, half marathons and marathons to my uptime agenda. My son even started accompanying me on these adventures when he turned 13 - always there to see me off with a hug, and high-five me after crossing the finish line.
So find what puts that spark back into your life and make it as routine as your morning coffee. Whether it’s a daily hobby or a monthly girls’ night out, prioritize it.
You’re not just surviving, you’re living. And it’ll make you a better and stronger mom and professional.
Always Be Learning
No matter your career stage or path, one mantra holds true - never stop learning.
It’s the key to leveling up in your job. But as single moms, we’re not just juggling a hundred balls, we’re juggling a whole circus! So the conventional avenues for professional development might not be as accessible. Time is a premium and we have to be wise in how we use it.
Your field, whatever it is, is ever-evolving, and there are ways to deepen your expertise and broaden your skills. Whether it’s honing your craft, becoming more productive, or growing into a leadership role, opportunities abound. Want to be the go-to expert at your job? Looking to climb that corporate ladder? Or maybe you want to start your own side hustle? You can do it, but you have to keep learning.
We’re lucky we’re in this awesome digital age, especially post-covid. The world is your oyster - or better yet, your digital classroom. While attending in-person conferences might not be an option for us, you’ve got everything from podcasts to webinars and online courses - most of which are free. Make the time, even if it’s just squeezing in a podcast episode while driving the kids to school.
I’ve been a learning junkie for years. Subscribed to all kinds of blogs - Hubspot, you’re my jam - and I make it a point to read up every single day. Free ebooks? Downloaded. Webinars? Count me in. This all has done wonders for my career.
And don’t forget about the people around you. Find those folks in your workplace who inspire you and that you look up to. Ask for some one-on-one time. Most people will gladly meet with you. I’ve done this at every job I’ve been at. And I still keep in touch with some of my favorite mentors and continue to learn from them (here’s lookin' at you Tall Jeff.)
One of my core beliefs was to always seek out the mentors. Sometimes it leads to regular catch-ups, other times it’s a one-off. Either way, I come armed with questions, ready to pick their brains and learn as much as I can.
Don’t wait for your boss or HR to hand you opportunities. They’re out there - you just have to reach out and take them.
Leverage Your Single Mom Skills
It's easy to get bogged down by society’s dismissive and negative views about single moms. But we’ve got a whole toolkit of skills we use every day that most people don’t even realize are powerhouse talents. And because they come to us so effortlessly, we often underestimate their worth. But they are GOLD.
Of course, no two single moms are identical, and our skill sets may differ. But there are some incredible abilities most of us have in common, simply because of the life we lead. And it doesn’t matter what your career is or how many jobs you take on to pay the bills - you’ve got talents that you can leverage, repurpose, build upon, and proudly spotlight in your career.
Think about what you bring to the table:
- Empathetic Listening: Balancing your kids’ needs, wants, and occasional tantrums has made you an expert in active listening, providing safe spaces, and showing empathy. This is golden in team dynamics.
- Strategic Planning: Juggling work, childcare, meals, and downtime? You’ve probably got a game plan for that. Employers value someone who can strategize for the long term.
- Tactical Implementation: You don’t just plan - you execute. From managing morning routines to ensuring bedtimes goes off without a hitch, you know how to get things done.
- Catering to Diverse Needs: Have more than one child? Then you know all about accommodating different personalities and needs - another check in the plus column at work.
- Financial Planning: Budgeting for a family on a single income has turned you into a financial wizard. And let’s face it, who couldn’t use more of those skills at work?
- Multi-Tasking: Ever tried making dinner while helping with homework and listening to your kids’ accounts of their day? You’re a multi-tasking maven.
- Vision and Initiative: You’ve always got one eye on the horizon, planning your family’s future and making things happen. This kind of proactive, forward thinking is invaluable in any career path
- Time Management: Juggling work, family, and personal time has made you a pro at getting the most out of your day…and doing things on time.
- Decision-Making: Whether it’s choosing between conflicting after-school programs or making quick calls on household matters, your decision-making skills are on point. You can take in the data points and come to a sound conclusion in the blink of an eye. And that’s a big deal in any fast-paced work environment.
These are just a few examples. Maybe you’ve got specific talents unique to you, like speaking up for others or going that extra mile no matter how you feel. The point is, you’ve got more in your toolkit than you might realize. Recognize these talents for what they are and be confident knowing that they are assets you can leverage to grow in your career.
Network and Build Genuine Connections
The assumption that single mothers can’t effectively network is a myth that needs debunking. While after-work events and social mixers might not be feasible for us, we can leverage our work environments and the digital world to create meaningful professional relationships.
I used to think that hard work alone would help me advance my career. But that is far from the truth. Hard, even exceptional work is not enough. Relationships are currency (one of my first business mentors, Dan Seligson, taught me that.) They’re your secret weapon for unlocking doors you didn’t even know existed. Your network will pull through for you in ways you never even anticipated.
I’m not suggesting you superficially “connect” with others on Linkedin. Not at all. What I’m urging you to do is to genuinely engage with people. Make the first move, offer a helping hand, and be genuinely interested in what they’re doing.
Show up for people and they’ll show up for you.
As single moms dealing with a gazillion things, we’ve got to be smart about this. Use your time at work to go beyond small talk with colleagues - especially those not on your immediate team. If you can’t chat in person, send them a quick Slack message or propose a 15-minute virtual coffee break. Show authentic interest in what’s going on for them, ask about their projects, and if there’s any opportunity to help them, offer it. And don’t expect anything in return.
Also make the most out of digital platforms and events. After attending a webinar for example, follow up with speakers or participants on Linkedin and drop a personal note about what you appreciated or learned from them. Keep the conversation going, even if it’s sporadic. Again, offer support.
Many of the doors that have opened for me - freelance gigs, promotions, new roles - have been thanks to my network. So don’t underestimate the power of a well-nurtured network, even as a single mom. You can build it.
Take Calculated Risks
Just because you’re a single mom, you are not at the mercy of your circumstances. You’re not stuck where you are. Yes, you’ve got a lot more to think about - the whole show is on your shoulders. But you still have options. Your constraints as a single mom shouldn’t confine your capacity to seize new chances for advancement - personal or professional.
When an exciting opportunity comes around - one that aligns with your aspirations or has the potential to enhance your quality of life - give it the consideration it merits. Implement a structured approach to decision-making (it’s one of your strengths, remember?) Probe, scrutinize, and anticipate possible outcomes. Reflect on necessary adjustments - and if you conclude that the benefits outweigh the risks, then proceed with confidence.
Taking calculated risks is pivotal to growth and transformation, and you have an arsenal of skills like resilience, decision-making, vision, and strategic planning to navigate the course.
I’ve taken many calculated risks throughout my life and career as a single mom. And they’ve catapulted me and my kids forward. In 2005, about two years after my divorce, and when the tech scene was booming, I considered leaving my low paying, private elementary teacher position for a job in tech. By January 2006, I landed a job as a Business Analyst at a tech startup in the city.
Was that crazy? Yeah sure, some people said it was a stupid move. How could I take a job that “took” me away from my kids? Teaching was “ideal” for me.
But I had big dreams. And I knew I had more to offer my children and the world.
So I thought it through carefully, did my due diligence, strategically planned for all the changes that would come with this new job (like enrolling them in the early and after school programs, negotiating with my boss to leave at a certain time, and signing them up for summer camps). I never regretted that decision. It might’ve been tough at first, but taking that one step 17 years ago opened doors for me and my kids that I never would’ve imagined.
That’s just one of many times I decided to take a calculated risk. Each time there were challenges, but my kids and I always figured it out. We learned, we grew, and we lived a life full of opportunities.
So don’t settle for just getting by because you’re a single mom. Figure out what you really want, look at the risks, and if it still feels right, go ahead and jump. You’ve got this.
Own Your Sh**
I’ll be the first to admit that there were times when I played the “single mom” card to dodge responsibility. It’s tempting to use the unique challenges of single motherhood as a sort of shield. But if we're honest with ourselves - everybody has their own set of challenges. If we all blamed external factors for our actions or performance, we’d live in a, well, even messier world than we already do. That’s not how great things happen.
Sure, you might not be able to make it to every happy hour, but you don’t need to blame it on being a single mom. Either make arrangements to go or gracefully bow out - no excuses needed. And if you snap at one of your kids or break a promise to them, don’t blame it on being a single mom either - although that though may just live in your head, it’s still an excuse. The same goes for career stagnation. It’s easy to say you’re not advancing because you’re a single mom, but that’s not the whole picture (and deep down inside, you know it.)
The fact is, we’re not victims of our circumstances, whether we’re single parents or not. It’s up to us to decide how we interpret the situations we find ourselves in and how we’ll respond.
Make the choices that are best for you and your family and own those choices - the ones that work, and the ones that don’t. If you mess up - and you will mess up - that’s okay. Admit it, apologize if needed, and work to make it right. No excuses.
You’re stronger and more capable than you give yourself credit for.
And no one is coming to save you. You’ve got to be the hero in your own story.
Lean Into Community
Being a single mom doesn’t mean you’re on a solo journey. Sure, you’re likely the main planner, organizer, and caregiver, but you’re not in this alone. The saying “it takes a village” is not just a cliche - it’s the truth. So lean into your community, whoever that may be: family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, counselors, basketball coaches, even your children’s teachers. They’re your support system, there to offer a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on when you need it the most.
I used to feel like asking for help was some sort of admission of failure, as if it made me less of a mom. But that’s far from the truth. Humans are social creatures, and introverted or not, we all benefit from a supportive community. Sometimes we forget that our support network is always operating in the background - whether it’s teachers caring for our kids, food delivery services making our lives easier, or even the systems in place like the traffic lights that keep our kids safe when crossing the street.
My own journey as a single mom would’ve been so much harder without leaning into my community. Whether it was my mom stepping in to babysit during an evening work event, a coworker picking up my kids from summer camp when a meeting ran late, my landlord keeping an eye on my kids when I went for a run, or my sister taking my kids along with hers on a weekend getaway, my community made all the difference. We all need that circle of support. Lean in.
Have Grace
Look, it’s gonna be hard. This journey of single motherhood is not going to be a walk in the park. And guess what? That’s okay. Difficulty doesn’t have to translate into misery - it can also mean opportunity, growth, and even joy. The key? Extend grace - not just to others, but especially to yourself.
Patience is crucial. Don’t beat yourself up for not meeting unrealistic standards, whether they’re set by society or yourself. No one gets it right all the time, and you don’t have to.
What matters is that you keep showing up for yourself and your kids.
Embrace the challenges. That’s where the magic happens. Whether you’re overcoming a tough situation at work or managing a tricky parenting moment, it’s the hard stuff that teaches us the most. Not just about how the world works, but how we work within that world.
And remember to show the same grace to your kids. They’re learning and growing, just like you. When things don’t go as planned - and they sometimes won’t - take a deep breath, look up, ground yourself, and lead with compassion. And if you can’t right then and there, walk away. Cool down. Get to emotion-neutral first. Let your actions say, “I love you, and we’ll get through this together.”
You are enough just as you are. You’re worthy of love, success, and happiness. So when the going gets tough, give yourself the gift of grace.
Believe
Life is a rollercoaster, especially when you’re a single mom juggling a career and a family. There are highs, lows, and sometimes you’re upside-down. But whether terrifying or exhilarating, every twist and turn offers a lesson, a new perspective, or even an unexpected joy.
One of the most important elements on this journey is belief. You have to believe - with every fiber of your being - that you can do this. You have to trust that you’re not only the best mother for your kids, but also a valuable contributor in your career. Both are possible. Both can co-exist in one fabulous you.
You can’t act on what you can’t see, and you won’t succeed unless you believe you can.
This belief must be unshakeable, even when the ride feels too bumpy to endure. When it all seems overwhelming, set temporary goalposts. Whether it’s “just make it through dinner” or, in the context of a challenging project at work, “just make it through this meeting,” those short-term goals can give you the juice to keep going.
I learned this tactic in my distance running. There are moments when every step feels like agony, but I focus on attainable landmarks - the end of the block, the next streetlight, the corner up ahead. With each small victory, I inch closer to my ultimate goal of making it home. And it all begins with the belief that I will make it there.
So here’s the final offer I want to make to you:
Trust the process and savor the exhilarating, challenging, beautiful, joyous ride.
Extend grace to yourself in tough moments, celebrate the small victories, and maintain a robust belief in your own resilience and capability.
After all, your journey of being a single mom and having a thriving career is not just about survival - it’s about a flourishing life full of possibilities - a harmonious symphony of your own making.
If given the choice, I would go back and choose this path again a thousand times over.
So take a deep breath, fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride. You’ve got this.
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